It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
