Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
