maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Blood and glitter go together right?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
