I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I need to stop coming to work sober
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
