no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
