When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
