Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
