I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
