Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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