drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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