I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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