Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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