I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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