i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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