and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I have aggressive nipples.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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