i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
