Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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