I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
