Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize