...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
