You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I smell stomach acid.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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