went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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