you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
