my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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