his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
