I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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