That's intense
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
