Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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