he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
