you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
