just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
