hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
