so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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