there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
