So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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