Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
His hands were made for my vagina.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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