she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He? As in you personified your dick?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
