What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
