im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
