You made me cry and you don't even care
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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