You're my little dorito
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
