Plan B is the new Plan A
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
