Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
