Nicole vs. Life
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
