I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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