plz talk dirty to me
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
