don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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