She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
