Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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