i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
