she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
