He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
