Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
