Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
